Halloweeeeeeeeennnn!

I love Halloween. I think that the notion of running through the dark, from house to house, in costume collecting candy is pure genius. Seriously. Whoever came up with it was at one with childhood. As a society, we are working hard at ruining it.....making it 'safe', making it 'all natural', convincing our children that the one night sugar high is bad, moving it to random nights other than Halloween, and pronouncing it evil or anti-Christian. Bah humbug!

Some of my fondest memories as a child are of Halloween. Running, hell for leather, through our neighborhoods with my friends and my dad's flashlight. Eventually the batteries would die and we'd still be flying through the dark. Tripping and falling and getting slapped in the face with branches but thrilled and euphoric, none the less. I have no memory of my parents going with us. They were at home doling out candy to the ghouls and goblins. They weren't worried about us. We weren't out smoking crack with pedophiles, for pete's sake, we were trick or treating!

And it was tons of fun to ponder the old razor blade in the apple scenario. Every kid knew that story and was wary of the fruitcake (or loser) that might dare to give out apples in lieu of candy. And then there were the dark and eerie houses that we'd tiptoe around and speculate on the evil stirring inside....and then someone would hear something or see a flickering light and, again, we'd be off! The imagination works triple time on Halloween and it's probably compounded by an enchanting sugar high. But we weren't too worried about our sugar intake.

We were kids having an inordinate amount of fun on one very special night.

Did you come home and dump your bag out and marvel at the wonders? Did you divide it into categories and pull your favorite ones close to you? Did you barter and trade with your siblings? Did you count every last piece?

Wasn't it grand?

Polka Dot Pumpkins

As much as I like Halloween, I'm not big on carving pumpkins. I do it every year, but I usually offer up standard fare in the jack o lantern face department. None of those fancy, magazine worthy, works of art that some people whip out. And because I have three children, there are usually three pumpkins to be tackled. That's why I created the polka dot pumpkin! I've been doing this since Max was six months old. We lived in Port Townsend, WA and I had a halloween party for our mom's group and I went a bit crazy on the pumpkins with Matt's drill. But boy howdy is it fun.

I would explain how, but I think you can get it just by seeing the photos. Della did this one. You need a drill, different size drill bits and that's it. Drill away. Add candle and Voila! Everyone loves them, especially Max's friends.

I am doing one in Lew's class on Friday along with a scary story.

Can you tell that the top photo is in the bathroom? No one sees them on the front porch, so at night they come in for bath time by pumpkin light.

Spooky fun!

Real Life Still Life

{a friday ritual....embracing the 'yuck' in our lives}


There are times when it's just not happening. When I REFUSE to wash ANOTHER pot. I choose to OPT OUT. And this is what I do. I take that big pan of bacon grease and just set it outside. For a few days or maybe even a week.

And then, usually, magically, it reappears clean and ready to go in the cabinet.

(Thank you, dear.)

Another Real Life Still Life courtesy of the Patton family!

Junction Creek

I consider this 'our' creek! But everyone is welcome! Happy Summer!

What's for Breakfast?

That's the first thing I was asked this morning.

A brownie and an ass whoopin'. I said.

And they were fine with that. And it was easy for me.

As Max sat on a stool and ate his brownie, we discussed what he was going to cook for dinner. (Wednesday is his night.)

He couldn't think of anything and I suggested cold cucumber soup. The British eat it during the summer, I said, it's cool and creamy and salty and easy to make.

"That sounds really good, but I can't serve that in our mismatched cups." he immediately replied.

Pause.

OK. I am thinking that, either...

A.) My eldest is gay!? or
B.) He is simply the product of, well,.... me.

It is safe to say that I am obsessed with dinnerware (plates, mainly) and proper food presentation. I believe that you can transform a meal with colorful and thoughtful presentation.

And that brings us full circle. A brownie and an ass whoopin' is much better than just a plain old brownie.

Wouldn't you agree?

And this story has a happy ending. I remembered that my fabulous friend, Jamie Jo, gave me a gift certificate for Pier 1 at the end of the school year.

Max shall have his matching cups/bowls! Thank you Jamie Jo!

Cute Men!

This is Matt with his dad and his brothers. Why is he laughing so hard? What's so funny?

A Theme Runs Through It

And thank goodness a river does, too. My idea of a successful summer is one spent partially submerged... most every day! In a pool, in the ocean, in a river, in a lake, in a cold clear trout stream, in an irrigation ditch, in the sprinkler, in a hot springs, in the dang bath tub. It just doesn't matter. We spend lots of time wet. I have a clothesline inside my car. We are often sandy and waterlogged.

We sleep well.

I gotta go....we're off to the river!

draft

Real Life Still Life

This is something that I have been thinking about for months. I am calling it the 'real life still life' and it is my reaction to all the perfectly staged blog photos that I simultaneously love and hate. A blog is a place to show ourselves to the world and so it would follow that we, of course, are looking to present our best selves. But sometimes I wonder...

Is your house ever a total pit? Are you ever really bummed? Do you lose your temper? Does your child suck at soccer? Did you have Wal-Mart frozen taquitos for dinner?

Because I did.

And they weren't organic. Or handmade. And Wal-Mart ain't 'buying local'. And I did NOT put sea salt on them.

So this is my ode to the real world. Check out how the dirty dishes are covering every available space. Last night's dinner ingredients are still out. Or was it the night before? You can tell that we've been drinking....wine and root beer!

Thank God my unemployed husband is doing the dishes.

Oh, but if you look very carefully, you will see one redeeming quality.

That's SEA salt next to the open jar of jalapenos.

Because I wouldn't want to be caught with my pants down in the salt department.

So look for a weekly Real Life Still Life. Because it's not always picture perfect around here.

Planet Lew

I love those those rare moments when you get to sit down and really talk and share with just one child. The other night, somehow or another, it was just Me, Matt and Lewis. Della and Max were still out roaming the neighborhood, I think.

We sat, eating and chatting, and the conversation came around to what Lew was going to do with himself as an adult.

"I am going to name my children." he said.

"Well that's big of you, Lewis." Matt said.

"What are you going to name them?" I asked.

"Well, if it's a boy, I'm going to name him Groin." he threw it out...just like that.

It was all downhill from there, I can assure you.

Doesn't that make you want to come have dinner at our house?

Or if you have a daughter and would love to have a grandchild named Groin, please just give us a call in a few years and we can work on some sort of arrangement.

Kids are too good to be true. I will laugh about this one for YEARS to come.

Top 10 favorite things we did in Georgia

In no particular order.....

1. Saw all of our wonderful family. Cousins, aunts, uncles, Kitty and Grandbear.

2. Ate our fill of incredible fried chicken, fried okra, fried tomatoes, fried fish, fried shrimp...are you seeing a pattern here?

3. Hunted for Native American pottery shards in the ocean at St. Theresa and found lots! Along with all sorts of exciting marine life...blue crab, hermit crabs, horseshoe crabs, fish, and alligators.

4. Acquired a new set of cousins...Mary Claire, J.P., and Abby....the perfect ages and new transplants to So. Georgia. Girls for Della, Hooray! (of course, they have always been our cousins, we just didn't see them very often.)

5. We had a paint a pony party. This means that we painted a live horse with real paint.

6. Went to cold, clear Wakulla Springs and swam with the alligators and jumped off the towers and took the scenic boat ride and got beautiful relief from the 100 degree days!

7. Max and Lew went boating with Uncle Ben and cousin Parker in Lake Iammonia and did some paddle boarding with the alligators. Another pattern emerging here....next time we should eat some fried gator just for the poetry of it all.

8. Spent LOTS of time swimming at the country club with cousins and old friends.

9. Lewis had a BLAST at History Camp and is ready to go again next year!

10. Della and Mary Claire went to Horse Camp and learned to ride!

11. Rat man made an appearance.

12. Caught lots of frogs and toads in the moonlight on Kitty and G-Bears's porches.

Thank you family, and Mom and Dad especially, for showing us such a wonderful time!

We love you and miss you!

fishing for blue crabs & armed for swimming!

I am in Georgia visiting family. I am in the room of my childhood. I am cleaning out my closet because I don't think we will have a need for my 10th grade Biology book or the remnants of my college wardrobe ever again. Goodby Mia sandals and Girbaud jeans. Sad but true.

I did, however, find a treasure among the 80's memorabilia.

A bag of letters.

It was not so long ago that we invested ourselves in the letter writing process. We had a conscience about the length of a long distance phone call because long distance was expensive. We couldn't read the paper online or know what the weather was elsewhere with exact accuracy. We did not have cell phones wired to our person and the need for immediate gratification. Instead we wrote letters. Long letters.

I read all the letters that I received while at college. From my mom, my dad, my grandmother, my younger sister and brother, my friends at other schools. They are filled with news of home or where ever, mundane and witty at the same time. They are pages long and express feelings and thoughts that we no longer express so eloquently because we talk constantly.

The writing is delightful. My sister would illustrate hers. My sweet little brother was so grammatically polite...still is. My mom would write of her very full schedule and who she had entertained. My dad wrote of business ('your car insurance has gone up') and the cats. And my friends were sarcastic and hilarious in their descriptions of their new room mates or fraternities.

And then there are the love letters. More than a few. And it is painfully clear why I chose the one I did. Eee Gad, he could write a letter.

I am sad for this endearing and enduring lost art. I want my boys to be able to write a letter that will SLAY!

Bah humbug to email and texting and such. (for fair measure blogging should be thrown into that group, but....)

Today I begin my letter writing campaign with a plea.

Give me your mailing address, please.

And go here and order some monogrammed stationary that will make you feel official from my fabulous sister in law, Haile.

And read this fabulous book of letters....The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society. Yes, I realize that I am behind the curve on this one. (Thank you, Brian! I didn't forget and there was a letter from you in that stack of treasures!)

Soooo, if you read this and you live afar and you would like for us to put you or your children on our correspondence list then leave your particulars in the responses.

Or feel free to write to us!

The Patton House
P.O. Box 3313
Durango, Co 81302

max said...

"Mom, you're strange in a really good way."

I think that's a compliment.

happy anniversary baby

I even think he's handsome when covered in mud from head to toe. He almost looks like a statue. Most men probably would not take a flying leap into an enormous mud pit just to delight his children.

That's why I married this one.

they keep me laughing!

preschooler girl to preschooler boy:

Do you want to be my husband? I have a beautiful little rabbit.

huh...

We are driving home from school.

Max chimes out from the back seat...

"Mom. What's the difference between a lesbian and pedestrian?"

Well. Lots of thoughts came immediately to mind....most of them pretty humorous. But I wasn't really in the mood to go into great length. I actually don't even remember what I told him. I just remember the question.

Because WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT?

How does one even come up with a question like that?

But now that I've had some time to assimilate it, please let me answer it for you.

Max, my son, in some cases, there is no difference whatsoever. There are many lesbians who are pedestrians and many pedestrians who are lesbians. On the flip side of this unusual coin we will find the pedestrians who are NOT lesbians.

Are they different and what is the difference?

We would have to take that on a case by case basis.

And that, gentle reader, is where you come in.

If you are a non-lesbian pedestrian please feel free to comment at the end of this post and let Max know how you might feel 'different' or 'not different'. And in the interest of equality, if you are a lesbian pedestrian, how do you feel?

Inquiring minds want to know.

future diplomat

This is another of my 'conversations overheard'. You can probably tell that I love eaves dropping on my children. It's one of the great priviledges of mothering.

This was Max calling our neighbor the other morning. Poor woman, she probably didn't even know that she was going to be side swiped by a 10 year old when she innocently answered the phone.

"Hey Mary, it's Max."

I'm guessing she said something like..."Hi Max"...because she's nice that way.

"I was just thinking about coming on over to your house. Is that fine with you?"

BAM!

Does the woman have any choice in the world with the way that question was phrased?

No, she does not.

Max went right on over.

Don't let anyone ever try to convince you that there is not power in words and, in particular, their method of delivery.

I was just thinking about coming on over to your house.

Is that fine with you?

blood

Max, Sophia, Lewis, Seas, Della and August
Grandaddy and Cookie
William and Parker
Lewis and Ethan
Reid and Max
Della and David and below, Rainey, John William, Patton, Dylan and Scot....the much revered 'old' cousins.
Eric, above and Maycee and Matthew, below

When you are counting your blessings there are many obvious things that come to mind. Today it dawned on me that I need to add nieces and nephews to my list. I have lots of them. Lots and Lots. Seriously. This means that my children have lots of cousins. Duh. It means that their lives are a living, breathing, ever changing, big fat mess of love. With out all these cousins, our lives might border on the ordinary. As it is, we are just a writhing mass of children.

Picture a bunch of snakes all in a pile. You don't know which tail belongs to who or what little voice was howling for mercy or a soda. It IS safe to assume that they all want something, and their tails probably need something, too. Wiping, beating, clothing, what not.

They may not see each other for months at a time, but it doesn't matter. It's all right there at the surface and it takes them about a minute and a half to take up right where they left off. How nice to be loved so easily by so many.

This past summer two of our Georgia cousins spent the night. We don't see them as often as we'd like. I finally had them all laid out on pallets and beds. The littles in one room and Max and Lew in the other.

Maycee said "Wait, I've got to get up."

"What do you need, sweetie?"

"I have to tell the cousins goodnight."

And she did.

"Goodnight cousins."

translation....good night to you other children who are riding the same road and sharing the same crazy love... who are part of me in a way that i don't quite understand because i'm only 5 but i know that we all are in this thing together with grape ice cream and loud aunts and uncles and more than our fair share of wonderful grandparents and always food and hugs and kisses....

Another cousin is on the way.

You can't know how excited I am.

My beautiful sister is having one more....probably the last of the cousins....last but not least!!!

Pile on, little guy!

We love you already!

Thank you God for 4WD and Goose Down.

The SNOW! Holy mackerel. Our lives right now look something like this....

Wake up.

Build fire.

Shovel.

Go to work.

Come home and shovel till dark.

Eat dinner and read in front of fire.

Shovel.

Go to bed.

Do it all again.

With lots more snow in the forecast it doesn't look like this schedule will change any time soon. But in truth, there is a certain zen like rhythm to it all. I like the shoveling. You can't not do it. It takes precedent over everything and sometimes that's nice.Being out in it and feeling the muted silence of the falling snow in our little valley is mystical. It's punctuated by the wild yells of the kids when they throw themselves off the front porch into the shoulder high drifts and especially when they throw the cat into those same drifts.....and he disappears. Or when the snow tunnel they've built collapses. And of course, there is the sledding and the skiing and snow boarding.

Della on skis is almost too much to bear. They taught her to ski with her hands on her hips and she is the definition of 'sassy'. Matt on a snow board is pretty special, too. The boys have passed us all.

I do like the coziness of winter. The big pot of soup on the wood stove, the cakes and pies and cookies that Matt is constantly turning out. The cramped quarters that are filled with music and books and laughs and candle light.

10-12 more inches of the white stuff tonight?

As Joe Kenworthy would say....

Let it Eat.

Has anybody seen the cat?

the plan

I love Christmas, but it's also overwhelming. We are leaving town this year in hopes of toning it down a notch. We are road tripping to Southern California. We are going to camp in Malibu and fulfill my dream of the camper covered in Christmas lights card that I am drawn to year after year. (you've seen it...the photograph of the solitary ham can with a string of lights)

We'll see the sights, eat lots of exotic foods, picnic under the Hollywood sign, find the best used book stores and thrift shops, hike, play at the beach, and of course, hit a few funky toy stores.

We will move into fancier digs on Christmas Eve and find a loud and bustling Chinese restaurant in Chinatown and then go to the prettiest church we can find.

Santa will come in a low key kind of way.

Someone mentioned that Lego land is in southern cal. Hhhhmmmmm.

I want to go to a wrestling match in Tijuana.

And maybe we'll wetsuit up and do some baja surfing.

Eat some lobster in Ensenada.

Suggestions are welcome!

I hope all you people out there who read my ramblings have a wonderful season...and I'll keep you posted on our where abouts!

ps! Santa says I'm getting a camera so I will be uploading MY OWN pictures again soon!

conversation overheard

Max was in the front seat rocking out to some Greenday. Making mini lassos above his head and grooving as much as you can with a seat belt on.

Della and Lewis were in the back seat very earnestly discussing their college choices.

"You should just come to Colorado with me. It's a long way away, but you can be a cheerleader."

"I don't have a suit for that." Della says

"They give them to you when you get there." because Lew is in the know.

"Mom and Dad will come up and take us out to dinner, too, with our girlfriends and boyfriends."

"What if I don't have a boyfriend?" she asks...

"You will. You're real cute."

"So are you, Lewis."